Sophia's Closet

Remember when the governor of New Jersey announced he was gay? I certainly am. I remember smiling sadly at me when I heard people talking about the scandal and ask: "How could his wife not know? Can you imagine being married to someone and not knowing that he is gay? "Yeah, I can because it happened to me. I am not afraid to tell people about it because I just think it gives me a pass for a failed marriage. There was not "just growing apart" or "we wanted something different" excuses. Nope. I married a gay man. Not my fault. Unless you consider that I am, how shall I put this ?, stupid enough to marry a gay guy first. By way of explanation, let me tell you this. My ex, whom I refer to as Jared was more the type of Rock Hudson gay rather than the kind Liberace . It was not like he was in the Broadway show tunes or decoration. It was like ballet, but perhaps that would have been a clue. These days he comes home to pick up girls in shorts and socks and sandals in Bermuda, I looked and I said, 'You are sooo gay. How did I miss that? "At the time he was still in the closet, he has played part of the right, the former football hero high school convincing enough and I and everyone has been duped. And to answer the question most often asked, yes, we have sex. No problem, then you can see, I really had no idea.

Jared and I met in 1987 during a Christmas party my roommate and I were thrown into our apartment. It was his host. They worked together. He seemed a nice, real Guy who wore T-shirts and jeans and the most watched sports. At the time, I had a lot of short-term romances with playboy types who handed me along with promises of trips to Jamaica, then dumped me without notice. My current thought fit the profile, but had not yet arrived, so Jared and I struck a conversation about exactly how the guy who played Latka Taxi die, (we learned we were both obscure trivia fans) when my date and I showed retracted. Two weeks later, Lothario stopped calling and I am sworn to meetings forever. I was 26 years and has decided that marriage and the children were not going to happen for me. I do not know. I focused on my career as a star of fashion up and kissed 80s VCR technology.

Around spring, I decided it was time to venture into the dating world again. I told my roommate, who responded with enthusiasm that Jared was still available, came to his own apartment and I really enjoyed it. I have been making chocolate chip cookies at the time and gave him to give him work. A few days later he called and we went out to that date. I loved him very much, thought it was really nice, but I do not have nervous butterflies in my stomach, I reasoned that at the time was a good thing. It was the butterflies that had put in so much trouble in the past. I do not feel that instant chemistry, but decided to wait it out until I did because I knew that Jared was a decent looking guy. A Mensch, not an idiot and all my friends loved him. After a month of dating I really fell for him and thought: "That's what love is supposed to feel - calm. No loose or annoying. "After nine months of meetings, we got engaged (the ballet) and 9 months after we were married. The first two years we lived the yuppie '80s, pre-kids lifestyle. We delivered our hobby dinner, browsing bookstores and go to the movies.

On November 92 Jared got hired by a high-tech company in California and we were moved from the East Coast to the West to start a new life. At the same time I got pregnant with Sophia. There was a lot of changes in our lives and the stress that accompanies that goes with it. Jared became a work, an alcoholic, who was a kind of characteristic of the PM.